My 100th post. 264 posts to go before my deadline. That doesn’t actually sound like much.
I was thinking about how to mark the occasion (a bit of celebration of accomplishments can be a good thing) and as I have to admit this blimmin’ gallbladder pain is making me somewhat weary I thought I’d look back at some posts that stand out rather than create a new one. Thus emulating writers on sit-coms who can’t think of new stories so show bits from previous episodes. So if its good enough for Friends…
1. My first post I have chose is well, my first post. The countdown begins. Written with a horrible cold and no sleep after a wonderful day with friends in Winchester:
So this is it. A sense of urgency. I’ve given myself a year to launch and open “my shop”. Those of you who know me well have heard my yearnings for many a year now and its time to get serious, get wriggling, get jiggy with it.
Its been the most beautiful sunny day too. In Nov-ember. The autumn palette of the deciduous ones and little fluffy clouds. It feels to me like the universe is giving me a go.
An unplanned but not necessarily unwanted side effect is that its 3am and i’m wide awake with a million and three ideas thundering through my head about what i need to do, what to do first, what if, but, maybe, i wonder and of course what do i call my dream venture?
My readings on this have guided me to a High Priestess, Yin approach of allow it to unfold as it will. A bit of a tall order for a former Type A personality. But i have Mars in Capricorn on my side, telling me that its time to take my orders… from them lot upstairs who i’ve been whispering my dream to for over a decade.
This guidance is a case of easier said than done. There are quite a few years of conditioning there pulling at me to write charts, spreadsheets and task lists but so far so good…
2. The next post that I’ve selected is the one where I felt it was starting to come together. What Dreams May Come. This was a day where I was able to really connect with my intuition and my heart’s wishes:
“I want to work in a way that I love that produces love. I want to support people who need help and help others to find whatever they need to want to help others. I want to have a space where people can come and spend time in a calm, relaxing and safe space to learn about alternatives, to support their personal development,to be kind and gentle to each other. I want that space to have objects for inspiration and healing- crystals, artefacts, books, cards and people there that can help their healing- talks, treatment, sharing circles all FOCUSED on personal spiritual development.”
This is something I wrote after a deep journeying meditation last year. It’s incredibly personal and I feel a little discomfort in sharing this is such an open way. Well my ego does, my intuition tells me it’s time.
Yes as you can no doubt see it’s a little more than a “shop” which is why a shelf will not do the trick nor a market stall. I call it a shop as a working title because I haven’t found a suitable word to describe it in the English language. It will be part shop for sure because there will be things and services to buy but I also want it to be a space for people to make new connections, not just with people but with things, concepts, ideas.
But I am not focusing on what to call it just yet nor I am pinning down exactly what it will look like.
I am a big believer in the Law of Attraction. Not the get-rich-quick-find-the-perfect-man-Secret version but the attracting into my life energy that which I am sending out. Those pesky 1s and 4s that have been stalking me are reminders to keep my thoughts and energies positive and meditation my daily tool to keep things focused. And this blog, which I see as a holographic representation of me sending out my thoughts into the universe (As above, so below) which is why sticking to it is so important to me.
It’s no easy feat though thanks to an ever present ego and a societal emphasis on logic, reason, planning and profit. Things that have their place but for me, not at the expense of intuition, flow, love and compassion.
I’m still at the beginning of this journey, still a lot to do, to meditate on and reflect about. And I also know that my quote above is a first draft. This idea needs time and perspective and is still taking shape in the ether.
And when it’s ready I’ll have everything I need to be able to manifest it.
Its good for me to read this again as the first paragraph brings out those bubbles of excitement. Those bubbles, their dynamic movement are essential to me moving forward. It feels comforting to tap into that again.
3. And the final post I’ve chosen is the one which not only was the shop taking shape in words but when I actually “saw” it taking shape in a meditation. Soft Tingles, Warm Whispers:
I visited my shop today. On the etheric plane.
Today was the first day of the year I’ve spent completely on my own. At first I was out of the rhythm of it after having my other half with me, and the company of other special souls, for the last two weeks. I woke up, fairly late, and felt a little lost and directionless. I imagine this is a common feeling after becoming untethered.
I also felt lethargic and this, I imagine, is my body getting used to it’s normal routine again. So I pottered. Did some caring for my space of sanctuary and some chores. At some point I felt that today a meditation would be needed, around 4pm. I’ve given myself over to the voice of my inner best friend so I gathered the crystals I was drawn to : Labradorite, malachite, my smokey quartz pendulum and my Sedona Citrine Dow.
After cleansing the crystals with my chimes I went within.
I could feel the energies of the crystals working within my aura. Little soft tingles, warm whispers, as I connected to the Light at the centre of Mother Earth and opened my Soul Star to the Light of the Divine Universe.
It took a while but some time in I started to journey. During my journey I asked to visit the space that would be my shop. Sometimes during journeying meditations conscious requests are granted by our higher selves sometimes not, because it depends who is asking. And I know this is because only our higher selves know the right time.
Today my higher self supported my request and I got to “see” the space for the first time. The details were just forming, some still blurred and in transition but I could sense the layout and the feeling of the place: soft tingles, warm whispers. That made me smile.
I was also blessed by my first visitor, or more accurately benefactor. A figure surrounded by light filling the space holding out a ball of very pale lilac-coloured energy. I received his name. I’m hesitant to share this at this moment as this connection is so new and precious. This may change over the next few months.
He will be my guide. I feel honoured by this and rather humbled.
I have to admit it was hard to leave that space. Those Piscean energies, and as I am learning now Cancerian IC energies, are very powerful and I wanted to stay in my ethereal shop but I received a knowing that it was time to leave and allow more time to pass. And Wait. So I left, with love and thanks, and ended the meditation.
And now (keeping up the metaphor) I’m back on course.
I can still “see” the images from this meditation so clearly. Those bubbles are fizzing even more now. This post was a reminder that things are happening eventhough I cannot see it on a physical level.
And it is also the message for today. From the first post to this one I have set out my intention and I am reminded that the universe is working on it. Some days are going to feel like downers, some days the dream will feel further away than ever, but they are not. Its just pain and worry talking, as a tarot reader once told me, this too shall pass.
And these posts are my hope.
Writing and M.E. 