My first “proper” meeting today to discuss my dream and how to manifest it. Exciting, slightly nerve-wracking feelings dominated my early morning.
Why was I nervous?
I had some of my crystal companions working with me today to help me get to the root of that. Malachite in particular, which would help bring old outworn patterns (as Judy Hall calls them) to the surface. The pattern that came up was an old, much reinforced pattern of fear-based thinking. The fear of failure and the fear of judgment to be precise. An old program had switched on from doing many a presentation or piece of work where there would be a realistic expectation of judgment and critical evaluation of my peers. My least favourite thing, presenting in public. I know its a common fear but doesn’t make it any less real or provocative to me.
Of course as usual there was nothing to fear but fear itself. Also it helped enormously that I shared these feelings with my advisor. And for that I have Brene Brown to thank for sharing her own lessons on vulnerability. After that I was able to share my idea, where I was with it, why I wanted to do it and what I needed from my heart and remember to heed the message currently being transmitted through Saturn to stay thoughtful, listen and don’t overwhelm! Quite the challenge for someone who would quite readily stand on their soapbox for hours.
And he liked the idea but more than that he connected with it and wanted to help. Yes there were practical issues and yes A LOT more work was needed but I got what I came for. Someone to listen, to empathise and support.
After that more affirmation as I engaged another wonderful volunteer to help me prototype my astrology/crystal combo. I feel so honoured that people are giving me their time and space to help shape my idea and am still amazed when certain “knowings” come up that turn out to be true for them.
A great day for positive signs from the universe. As long as I keep listening…