Kirstie Sivapalan
I was just starting to stir this morning. Not quite asleep, not quite awake, lying in the world in between. I felt nothing. No pain, no tiredness, for a moment I thought I had recovered and allowed space to entertain the feeling. But I took a breath and time moved on and it all came… Continue reading If only
New poem for ME Awareness Month 2021. I wanted to write something that reflects the frustration of being dismissed, ignored & gaslighted because we cannot be "good productive members" of a consumerist economy. Seems apt to post this on International Workers Day too. For more information on living with M.E or caring for someone with… Continue reading Defective
It hurts to move, to disappoint the ones you love I am with you. There is pain in your eyes, as you leave your friends behind I am with you. There is a lump in your throat, as you watch it fade away I am with you. There is hope in your heart that it will… Continue reading Life as of 31st January 2020 (I am with you)
You can gather from the title today is not a good day. Yesterday wasn't great either but today, has definitely been what those of us with mild-moderate M.E call a Bad Day. I wanted to write today. I also wanted to do some housework. I wanted to go to the library and maybe stop off… Continue reading Ode to a Bad Day
Want to know what gratitude feels like? Take away the every day... Take away getting ready for work Take away opening jars, making tea, standing while it brews Take away hats, scarves, sunglasses, flipflops Take away cosy chats, feisty debates, gossiping girls Take away walking, running, cycling, swimming Take away everything you never knew you… Continue reading The formula for Gratitude
Burning brightly, joyously. Solidly. Creating life-force and essential fire, until it falls - Shadow Only glimmers struggle to stay Reminders of what lies behind The shadow sits, weighty and cold Dense and obstinate, refusing to leave It stifles and suppresses its enemy - Light For a while it wins. All that once shone removed Pain.… Continue reading The eclipse
Yesterday I had that moment all aspiring writers have. "Why I am doing this? Am I even any good? Am I just indulging myself? Should I even bother sharing my work?" I allowed myself some time to reflect on this, to ask the question without a furious search for the right answer. Instead I remembered… Continue reading Composure
"What do you do?", you say I know what you want to hear - I am a this, I am a that, I am employed, valid, salaried, PAYED As you are. You want me to make sense to you. You want me to be part of the world as you know it. Yet my full… Continue reading My full time job
Some days I just want to sit under a tree. This is the Bank Holiday day we always dream of but very rarely see. Powder blue sky, lush green trees at the height of their vibrancy, parks full of string bikinis, string vests, local boys impressing local girls with too-loud music, bare stomachs and alcopops.… Continue reading My Bank Holiday and M.E
Today I am angry, not just mildly displeased or irked but gut wrenchingly, blood boilingly, fist clenchingly, teeth grindingly, word spittingly, ear steaminlgy angry and try having all of those things going on whilst your trying to be articulate. So do I have 5 minutes of your time? Will you indulge this tantrum and […] via… Continue reading Reblog: From a fellow M.E warrior. Listen to her roar!
Writing and M.E. 